A Glass Full of Water

  A seemingly random comment from a Year 9 student pierced our class discussion.  “My mum said I was a mistake.”  There was a moment of strained silence and then he added. “My aunty looks after me now.” The class Teacher Aide replied with words of truth and love to him. “There are no mistakes. You are not a mistake.” His classmates then responded. “You’re cool bro.” “We got you bro.” I didn’t need to say anything and he just smiled and the lesson continued…   On another occasion a Year 10 student shared with our class about people keeping away from him in a north Hamilton suburb. I stopped the lesson and asked him to come up to me at the front of the classroom. “You are accepted by me and our class.” My voice and heart were breaking but in a good way. We shook hands and when the bell went and the class had left the room the student came up to me again. He shook my hand and thanked me. What a privilege to be a teacher and to be trusted. I hope now as I did then that a...

When I was a primary school Deputy Principal, selecting children for their following year class was a delicate balancing act for me and other teachers. Student selection was and is an art not a science.  Some students are easy to place and some are not. During this particular year, I’d noticed a student who didn’t fit in with her class. Other students did their best to avoid her. She was a loner and often looked sad. It wasn’t possible to change her to a new class as they were all full and settled. Subconsciously, I must have been thinking about her as it came to next year’s class selection time. It could have been so easy to place her with another teacher. I needed to own this problem and she wasn’t the problem. I listened to my heart and said to the other teachers that I wanted her in my class. Insistence worked. Most of all she needed acceptance, a sense of belonging and to know that she was safe. The following year this student fitted in a whole lot better than previous years....

Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address delivered in 1863 spoke about equality for all people. Every Tuesday evening in the suburb of Arataki (Mount Maunganui) this simple but still radical philosophy is put into action in the form of The Arataki Community Meal. Everyone is welcome at the community centre and no questions are asked, nor judgements made. The disabled, old, young, Māori, Pākehā, backpackers, skate park kids and sweaty rugby training members regularly turn up. The meal is free. The food is really good (I’ve had a meal) and some people at the meal often eat better there than at home.  Jake, Tama, Tess and Tihema lead a team that is committed to restoring and developing relationships and connections with people. Barriers of prejudice and judgement do not exist in the centre. Homeless people are on the cooking team. They want to give and by doing so break down stereotypes. Jake, (a son in law) and a co-ordinator acknowledges that we are richer by helping others and in Jake’...

“Am I being kind to our school?” said a 5 year old student to me in the Te Uku School playground. I was on duty and had noticed him and a friend voluntarily picking up some rubbish. “You sure are,” I replied. We smiled at each other and together they ran off on their keen quest to keep our school environment tidy.  Our short interaction reminded me of the times I used to organise rubbish pick ups on the streets around Hamilton Boys’ High School. The last time I organised this activity, only one student came with me and no one noticed us as we filled a couple of rubbish bags. It didn’t matter, as we returned to the school happy knowing the local Hamilton East community was better off for our efforts.  In our local community of Raglan Val and I regularly see a woman picking up rubbish in the gardens, footpaths, road and parking areas leading down to the old Coastguard building and boat ramp. We always thank her as such action helps to keep our community tidy and safe. Another be...

My younger sister Cathy told me this story.  She was catching up with a friend in a Warkworth cafe. They sat in the back, sharing their family news and exchanging Christmas presents. An elderly woman sat nearby and Cathy couldn’t help but notice her sad face. They continued to talk and every now and then my sister would glance over at her. A waitress arrived at the woman’s table and Cathy overheard her ask if she was doing anything for Christmas. Sadly, she wasn’t. The waitress then gave her a timely, compassionate hug. The woman smiled and hugged back and tears welled up in Cathy’s eyes as she was deeply touched by this kind action. My sister knows that she is a richer person by what she had seen. POINTS to PONDER Should a waitress hug a customer? In this situation, too right. She responded in an entirely appropriate way. The customer needed a hug and got one. An act of kindness such as this, goes a long way in helping people to feel loved.  Share your own kindness story w...

I am fascinated by people and love listening to their stories. Sometimes I think there is no such a thing as six degrees of separation.  The art of conversation is revived as we natter about our lives and experiences.  We all make mistakes. Some we share with others and some we don’t. Sooner or later our choices, actions and mistakes have consequences. Recently I got talking to a stranger in Raglan (no surprise there!). He was a big guy with tattoos and an interesting history. He told me he was a ‘501’ and had recently been ‘exported’ (deported) from Australia. I said “Welcome to Raglan.” Smiling back he said, “It was now much easier to be good.” We laughed together at his telling comment and with a generous handshake we parted company. I probably won’t see him again, but I reckon he’s given himself a chance to be a better person.  POINTS to PONDER Don’t be too quick to judge people. We have all done dumb, stupid things, and, for some, committed criminal acts in our pas...

Being kind can mean doing lots of little things to help people during their/our daily lives.  Here’s a few ideas to get you thinking and maybe doing. Write a personalised card to someone to perhaps say ‘well done’ or ‘thank you’, as such messages are welcomed with gratitude and often an awww response. Nobody puts an email message on the fridge.  Open the door/hold the door for someone walking next to or behind you and do this regardless of   age or gender.  Had a great meal at a cafe or restaurant? Thank the kitchen staff as these hidden people make it all happen, sometimes under a lot of pressure.  Be the first person to empty the dishwasher at your place of work and save someone else the trouble.  Notice people organising themselves for a photo of their good times together? Offer to take a group photo, so no-one misses out.  Do your neighbours lawns if they are away for a long time. You get a bit sweaty, but you probably needed the workout anyway....