A Glass Full of Water

Great Barrier Island is situated in the Hauraki Gulf, north of Auckland. It is remote and beautiful. I have stayed on the island twice. Once as an early teenager and the next time on my honeymoon. I have wonderful memories about both stays. My first stay was with my twin brother and my dad. As teenagers, Chris and I often clashed with dad over his seemingly conservative views on haircuts and respecting your parents. I remember saying to him, “ Just because I think differently to you, doesn’t make it wrong!” Bitterness was building up and dad decided to do something about it. He took us for a weekend to the island. We spent much of our time hunting rabbits and fishing. His plan worked. The angst between us had largely disappeared and the relationship healing was now well underway. Thanks dad. The worth of spending time together without distractions must have stayed with me, as years later, I used to organise ‘Father and Son Weekends’ as part of my ‘Guy Time’ boys programme at a Hamilton...

Flying back from education aid work in Africa and India was always long and tiring. On one flight I was doing some leg stretches in a small space near the rear of the plane. A few other passengers joined in too. Conversations ensued and it was a delightful surprise to hear all the kiwi accents. We asked each other what we had been doing over the past few weeks and months. One passenger said they had been working in a medical capacity for a volunteer organisation. Another had a similar story. The other passenger had been working with refugees as my colleagues and I from RATA (an educational aid organisation) had also been doing. It struck me how each of us and our teams were helping people in third world countries and the general public had no idea what we were up to. I guess we were just getting on with it. Go the kiwis! POINTS to PONDER  New Zealanders are kind and generous in giving to good causes at home and overseas. In fact we are the second most generous nation per capita i...

I have had the privilege of being part of education aid teams (RATA Teachers Support) who worked in a refugee centre in CapeTown, South Africa.  One year we took a builder with us. His job was to build a children’s playground within the compound.  Our builder needed help as he had a limited time frame to finish the job.  But where from? He noticed some teenage boys that were not often in the centre school and getting up to mischief (Sound familiar?). He chose to see the good in them and invited them to be builder’s labourers. They were incredible. They just wouldn’t stop working. Over ten long days they toiled to construct an amazing playground for children who had so little. The boys were busy, happy and could see something tangible for their labours. Pride in their finished work was obvious too. The legacy of the builder and his boys continues to give joy to generations of children. POINTS to PONDER Give people a chance to show you what they can do. Take a risk. So...

A Napier mum told me that she regularly shared with her children the following mantra before they left for school. “Be happy, be kind, be friendly.”  I love the way she encouraged her children to be active participants in caring for others and to be true to themselves. The mantra also encourages resilience as sometimes it’s really hard to be any of those things when life isn’t going well.  A Mount Maunganui mum shared with me that at the end of most school days she asks her children to share a ‘good thing that happened today, a bad thing and a kind action’ they did for someone else. Such sharing encourages children to see and seek kindness as part of life and the ups and downs of daily interactions. Both mantras end up taking the focus off ourselves and onto others. (The first mantra sets up the day, the second deconstructs the day). As a result the ‘greater good’ is considered and then acted on.  POINTS TO PONDER Children watch us all the time. Let them see you being kin...

As acting Principal of an Alternative Education provider in Hamilton I was getting used to the rigours of working with some students who had been expelled from a number of secondary schools in Hamilton. Teaching students that had disengaged from mainstream learning wasn’t easy and tested your teaching skills. It would have been easy to focus on the negative aspects of the job and to label the students as no hopers. Nothing could have been further from the truth.  I also remember that one class had a gay student and, initially, I was worried that this student would be picked on by other students. Not a chance. The student was actively protected from possible physical and emotional harm. He was consistently surrounded with love, caring and kindness. Never mocked or judged, the student was happy knowing he was accepted. He was safe. As debate rages in the media about the rights of the rainbow community I think we need to consider the point below. Points to ponder Just one. Love peo...

  A seemingly random comment from a Year 9 student pierced our class discussion.  “My mum said I was a mistake.”  There was a moment of strained silence and then he added. “My aunty looks after me now.” The class Teacher Aide replied with words of truth and love to him. “There are no mistakes. You are not a mistake.” His classmates then responded. “You’re cool bro.” “We got you bro.” I didn’t need to say anything and he just smiled and the lesson continued…   On another occasion a Year 10 student shared with our class about people keeping away from him in a north Hamilton suburb. I stopped the lesson and asked him to come up to me at the front of the classroom. “You are accepted by me and our class.” My voice and heart were breaking but in a good way. We shook hands and when the bell went and the class had left the room the student came up to me again. He shook my hand and thanked me. What a privilege to be a teacher and to be trusted. I hope now as I did then that a...

When I was a primary school Deputy Principal, selecting children for their following year class was a delicate balancing act for me and other teachers. Student selection was and is an art not a science.  Some students are easy to place and some are not. During this particular year, I’d noticed a student who didn’t fit in with her class. Other students did their best to avoid her. She was a loner and often looked sad. It wasn’t possible to change her to a new class as they were all full and settled. Subconsciously, I must have been thinking about her as it came to next year’s class selection time. It could have been so easy to place her with another teacher. I needed to own this problem and she wasn’t the problem. I listened to my heart and said to the other teachers that I wanted her in my class. Insistence worked. Most of all she needed acceptance, a sense of belonging and to know that she was safe. The following year this student fitted in a whole lot better than previous years....