A Glass Full of Water

My dad was a keen supporter of the Auckland Eastern Suburbs Rugby grade teams in the 1960’s. My twin brother Chris was a flanker (forward) and I was a winger (back). Dad would often position himself next to the opposition team’s try line and corner post. I would listen to him calling out to me, “Pin your ears back son!” This signal meant it was time for me to run as fast as I could to hopefully score a try in the corner. In a quieter voice, dad would then say, “A dollar a try.” He never paid. lol.  In her younger years, my niece Lucy was inspired to run faster at athletic meetings by her grandpa (my dad) telling her in a joking way, “Run like there’s an angry dog chasing you.” It worked. Now our grandchildren play a variety of team sports and individual sports activities and Val and I love the way our daughters and their partners use encouraging words to motivate their children and other team players. Recently, I was watching a grandson playing touch rugby in Papamoa. His dad and t...

Have you ever had your payment card declined? In public view this can be rather embarrassing. A Raglan friend of mine was in a supermarket queue. A man in front of her had his card declined 3 times as he tried to pay and he was increasingly mortified each time. She said to him, “Not to worry, I’ll pay for your groceries.” He was so surprised. A better word would be stunned. “You are so kind.” And the checkout operator added, “How wonderful. That’s such a generous thing to do.” My friend just smiled - such a thoughtful, generous individual.  Paying it forward like that is not uncommon in New Zealand, especially in supermarkets.  Another time, also  in a supermarket an old man was shakily counting out his money for a TV guide booklet and didn’t have enough. “I’ll pay for it,” she quietly said to the checkout operator.  “Are you sure?” Another smile and a nod. The old man walked away mumbling a thank you.  My friend also gives away her grocery promotion stickers to...

Did you know…  New Zealand needs over 5000 blood donations every week to ensure blood and plasma are available for those in need. The gift of blood can only be given from one person to another and there is no substitute. Hospitals rely entirely on volunteer donors to keep supplies available. Donations are needed for accident and trauma victims, patients undergoing major surgeries or organ transplants, people fighting cancer and undergoing chemotherapy and mothers and babies during difficult childbirth (Source: New Zealand Blood Service Website).  I spoke with some Raglan locals this past weekend about why they donate blood. Kim said, “Cancer runs in our family, so it’s kind of what we do as a family. It’s so valuable to help. You even get notified when your blood is being used and the donating experience is really positive.” Johnny had a few thoughts too.  “A machine cannot provide it. We produce it for free. Did you know we have to import blood? I’ve been giving blood fo...

Ken is a founding member and current chairperson of the Kowhai Youth Trust based in Warkworth. After finishing at Mahurangi College, he spent a year with VSA (Volunteer Service Abroad) helping the atoll locals and immersing himself in life on a tiny Tongan atoll in the South Pacific Ocean. Way back then and also now he is a man driven to providing opportunities for others to improve themselves.  The trust is set up to provide financial assistance for youth in education, health, culture and sport. Details of how they do this are on their website.  I asked Ken for one of his favourite stories of a successful ‘giving moment’.  “We don’t just hand out money. Years ago a mum needed winter clothing for her children. Rather than handing over money I said that I would meet her at The Warehouse shopping centre. We went shopping together. It humanised and personalised the whole giving and receiving experience. I still remember with some emotion, the joy on her face.”  The trus...

There is a celebration of community and kai (food) in Raglan every Monday from about 5pm to soon after 6pm. Jono and his partner Saras organise, cook and present food to anyone in our community, from a tiny empty shop on Bow St.  It’s aptly called Community Kai. You pay what you can for your meal. Your donation (koha) will often pay for someone else’s meal too. Some food items are also donated from local food businesses and locals.  I spoke with Jono about why he and Saras do what they do. His reply was simple. “We do this because everyone is struggling. Money shouldn’t be a barrier to good healthy, plant-based food (no dairy, no meat, no onion and no garlic!) and it helps to bring people together.”  I also spoke with Dominico, a regular earlier in the evening. He said.  “I like coming because of community values in action. Eating unites us with something nourishing. What’s cool is that everyone deeply appreciates what Jono does for us. People look forward to startin...

School holidays in New Zealand have begun and we  started the holidays with a few nights in Taupo.  On our first night Val and I went back to the Two Mile Sailing Club. It’s not really a sailing club at all, rather a lakefront wood fired pizza, drinks and live music place. We sat down and within seconds a couple next to us invited us to join them at their table. Invitation accepted! Craig (apologies Craig I can’t remember your partner’s name) and his partner are locals and have recently retired from the police. We laughed lots and shared animated conversations together. Such a friendly, welcoming couple as we met as strangers and left as new friends.  On our last night in Taupo we went out for dinner at Dixie Browns. It was freezing and we were blown through the front door. Looking around, the restaurant was full and no, we hadn’t booked. The waitress told us there was a 45 minute wait to get a table so we proceeded to sit at the bar to wait. A few moments later she walke...

My oldest daughter was driving through the city of Tauranga the other day, when she heard and felt her left back tyre blow out. Very scary for her. The car got the wobbles but she managed to slow down and park her wayward car on First Avenue.  Tears flowed as Sarah rang Richard. His calm response and advice was helpful, but he was unable to leave work. She then rang Johnny, “Yep, on my way.”  A nearby random woman saw Sarah’s distress, stopped her car, walked over the road and gave her a massive hug. More tears. Jaz said, “I see you’re having a ‘bleep bleep’ day!” She then showed Sarah the ‘secret compartment’ in the car that held the spare tyre.  Johnny duly arrived and the two J’s recognised each other. Cousins.  Johnny jacked the car up and swapped tyres. While chatting to me about it  Sarah commented, “Kind people surrounded me. Being kind in a practical sense was the right thing to do.”  Later the same day, Kare, another friend gave her some encouragin...

Brian, a friend in Raglan, shared with me a week or so ago about his recent overnight stay at the Cancer Society’s Lions Lodge in Hamilton. Brian was very impressed. The biggest thing for him was being surrounded by kindness.  He then commented,  “It didn’t matter where they were in the hierarchy, they were all volunteers, happily distributing kindness.  Lions Clubs all around the Waikato donate to the upkeep of this fabulous facility. All the people there wanted to give you the best possible food and beverage. I had poached fish with a beautiful white sauce and some veggies to go with it. The potatoes and peas were prepared with dedication. They were perfect.”  He mentioned further, “They were dedicated to the craft of being and doing the best they could for you.”  To Brian, it was a kindness hub. I checked out the YouTube clip about the lodge on the Cancer Society’s website. There is no charge for meals or accommodation. You can tell that this is a place where...

This past weekend some of my siblings, Val and I had a superb time together at Palm Beach on Waiheke Island - swims, walks, board games, cafes and conversations between each other (and extended family who live near where we stayed).While there my sister in law Anne shared with me a story about Hugo, a visiting university friend.  A month ago Chris and Anne, daughter Emma and husband Tau took Hugo to the same island to experience more sights of our country. While travelling around on a bus Hugo realised he had left his bag at a cafe in the settlement of Onetangi. Emma phoned the cafe to see if the bag was still there. It was. The cafe had also put a notice up about the bag on their Facebook page. She carried on with her conversation with the manager, who told her that they would put the bag on another bus that would meet them at another settlement on the island. Bag returned.  Now continuing on their way, a woman got on their bus and cheerily said to the driver, “Happy Birthday...

Our niece Lucy lives in Christchurch with her husband Connor and their two delightful pre-school daughters. Both Lucy and Connor work in the police force.They are a young couple doing a demanding and sometimes dangerous job, alongside parenting!  Val and I have been following Lucy’s career for a long time. I remember kayaking with Val on the Tauranga harbour when my phone rang. Lucy excitedly told us she had been accepted for police training. We were so excited and proud too (She had her eighteenth birthday at police college and when she graduated she was, at that time, New Zealand’s youngest policewoman).  We now occasionally catch up at family gatherings in Auckland. As months pass we text each other with a simple, short message, ‘What’s for dinner?’ The question never changes, but the answers do. e.g. Casserole. Home made burgers and chips. Delish. Yummers. Chinese takeaways. Lamb chops with beans and corn. Yummers. Delish.  Our print connections are very important as ...

Sue and Donna are good people. They are real estate salespeople who work together with their business name Team Sue Hall and under the auspices of Lodge Real Estate based in Hamilton (and serving the greater Waikato). They have been in real estate for many years - Sue 29 and Donna 20.  I talked with them last Saturday in the Raglan Wharf Kitchen and Bar. Early in our conversation, I read out what a client had said unsolicited about their professionalism. “They know how to read people and take people at their word. We said we don’t want to be pushed and they did exactly that. They told the truth to the vendor and to us, the seller.” Both Sue and Donna were visibly touched by those comments.  We then talked about kindness. The following thoughts were shared. “Kindness is a by-product of integrity and values and how we view people and their worth and value.”  “When I met Sue we integrated our underpinning philosophy of how we do business. There is a deep respect between us.”...

Are you a patient person? As you get older, are you becoming more or less patient? Does the following definition of patience fit you? Patience is the ability to stay calm and not get angry or upset when you have to wait a long time, deal with a hard problem, or face a slow task.  Earlier this year, Chris and I were the first customers when the doors opened (surprise, surprise) at 7am at a Mt Eden (Auckland) cafe. Being twins, we mostly like the same food choices. Our order was toast with honey and a flat white. Our toast order must have been seldom asked for and caused some confusion. The wait staff came back to us three times for clarification. The price changed a few times too. You could feel the stress levels rising as the wait staff were doing their best to get the order right and on time.  I can ‘hear’ a few cynical ‘voices’ saying, ‘the order wasn’t that difficult’. True, but they were inexperienced, still at high school and the last thing they needed were two curmudgeon...

I’m having difficulty staying retired. My first retirement was from Hamilton Boys’ High School and lasted 6 weeks. My recent farewell/retirement from Te Uku School lasted 2 weeks and I’m currently teaching one day a week at Te Pahu School.  Te Pahu means a bell or gong making a booming noise to summon people together. This small farming community is nestled below Mount Pirongia, 45 kms from Raglan. One of our ex Prime Ministers, Helen Clark, was born and raised there. She attended the local school, before boarding at Epsom Girls’ Grammar School in Auckland.  On my first day of teaching, I couldn’t help but notice and not long after tasting a magnificent pavlova, given to staff by a kind and generous parent as a way of saying thank you. Other parents randomly gift delicious treats to the staff as the term goes by.  The culture of the school is further enhanced when the staff have a themed morning tea together. ie party food, high tea, colour food. Once a term the staff do ...

My nephew Michael and his wife Heather have a son and daughter, their son currently attending Onehunga Primary School in Auckland. The school has a simple overarching value. We Care.  He loves school because he loves his teacher and she loves him. Sa is her first name and she leads the Piwakawaka (Native Fantail) Year 6 Learning community, leading by example. Their son said, “She likes me.” - he knows he has a secure relationship with his teacher. Sa can be firm when she needs to be and challenges him when his behaviour needs attention. The first time she was introduced to their son, she said to him, “Ive been waiting for you.” This beautiful, inclusive statement was followed by a hug for the parents too.  A few months later in the school year, Sa shared with his parents, “Your son makes me feel like a Queen. Queen Beyoncé.”  Occasionally, Michael and Sa wave to each other when he rides past the school and she is on road crossing duty. Michael describes her as a friendly,...

 I was recently farewelled from my part time teaching position at Te Uku Primary School, near Raglan. The farewell assembly was memorable. My speech was simple. Why have I been at the school for four and a half years? To help and to care and above all to be kind.  I have taught at every class level and loved it and I view it as being a privileged teaching position.  I then told the students sitting in front of me that I see in them, hope, joy and potential. I added, they were all precious and special.  I enjoy teaching writing. My goal was for each student to proudly say, I’m a writer.  And so to my beautiful book. I was presented with a unique, beautifully appointed book, ‘A Collection of Stories from our Lives’, written by Te Uku School Tamariki/children. Outlined below are a number of excerpts from their stories.  ‘I will miss you Matua (male teacher) Steve. I like it when you read the stories in your book (The Trouble with Twins A memoir). ‘I liked the ...

Campbell continued his conversation with me.  “Building our house was a wonderful experience and the builder asked me to help with his next two building projects.” Campbell then said, “People are the most important thing. I’m driven, but there is an underlying love for people. During these projects I realised that the people I worked for were just as important as the project itself. So, as a novice I went the extra mile, checking in, communicating and just being friendly.” “Lorraine says I’m still the same person as I was when I was in church, but now my tool belt has different attachments. I value relationships and the rewards that relationships bring. Both client couples gave me work post the house project and I added a new business, Repurposed Raglan. And you know what, I didn’t have to wait for another life to be a builder. Heather, Seb, Glenn and Andrea went from being clients to great, trusted friends. All I have done is to treat them well. Now I have plenty of work.”  C...

A tradie is a colloquial term used in New Zealand and Australia for a skilled (male or female) builder, mechanic, plumber, plasterer, bricklayer, landscaper, roofer or electrician.  Having a coffee with a tradie builder Campbell Forlong at The Hut Cafe recently was an insightful experience. The back story to his current career is that he came from a family of farmers and business people. Initially, he felt ‘intimidated’ by his wife Lorraine’s family of tradies  (mechanics, glaziers and builders).  Little by little he observed tradies working with their hands to restore, renovate and create something that was needed. Perhaps a seed of opportunity began to grow for him. Campbell then got some part time work as a labourer for a day a week. In his own words, he says,  “I discovered I could learn to build. Out of this came a dream, a desire to one day build my own house. At this time I was doing church and community work. Sometime during my 50th year I thought if I had my...

My brother in law Vern’s birthday is Jun 1, King’s Birthday Weekend. In New Zealand it coincides with a public holiday on the Monday.  Vern is the I.T. Manager at Mahurangi College, Warkworth. He and his wife (my youngest sister Cathy) were staying at the Pacific Rendevous Motel in Tutukaka. Two of his colleagues, Maree and Grainne and their combined 6 daughters were also staying at the motel for this long weekend.  Cathy was asked, “I hope you don’t mind, the girls have been practising a little something for Vern.” A knock on their unit door followed a short time later and in came the girls and their mums with big smiles. Each of the girls (except the baby) was carrying a card with a single letter and one explanation mark card. Carefully shuffling in order, the held cards spelt, V E R N ! In unison they chanted, “give us an V, give us an E, give us an R…”  Younger Sister Jenny and husband Stuart were part of the audience as well and videoed the special event. The Ha...

On the same morning of our Ngunguru cafe experience (last week’s story) and on our return to the Pacific Rendevous Motel at Tutukaka, I asked Chris to drop me off at the reception office. “What are you doing Steve?” I knew exactly what I was going to do…  When we arrived the previous day, Phil the new manager/receptionist, gave my siblings and extended family group a generous discount for the two units we usually occupy. It was the King’s Birthday public holiday and prices normally go up, but his ‘Winter Special’ trumped that! How wonderfully generous.  In response to his generosity and kindness and to be kind myself, I wanted to take the initiative, so I walked into the office and welcomed him to his new job, before he welcomed me. I thanked him for the cleanliness of our unit and he in turn acknowledged his wife Annie and her hard work and pride in cleaning and setting the units up.  A conversation followed and common points of connection were quickly discovered. ie gro...

This story is set in and around Tutukaka, a coastal village north east of Whangārei. It is home to a harbour, hotel, shops, cafes, restaurants, motels, marina and easy access to the Poor Knights Marine Reserve.  On King’s Birthday weekend this year (Saturday 30 May - Monday 1 June) my twin brother Chris and I were driving and walking around Tutukaka around 6.30am on the Saturday, hunting for a coffee and maybe, some honey toast or porridge but no cafes were open yet. I then remembered that we visited Ngunguru, a few kilometres away, on the same day a year ago. The Salt Air Cafe was open then, so hopefully it would be open early today. It was! (It opens at 6.00am) We recognised the friendly owner/manager/barista. Our flat white coffees and honey toast was made and delivered to our table and a conversation started. “How’s business?” There was a slight pause before he answered. “It’s going ok…” What does ok mean in the hospitality industry in New Zealand at the moment? There are so ma...