A Glass Full of Water

My nephew Michael and his wife Heather have a son and daughter, their son currently attending Onehunga Primary School in Auckland. The school has a simple overarching value. We Care.  He loves school because he loves his teacher and she loves him. Sa is her first name and she leads the Piwakawaka (Native Fantail) Year 6 Learning community, leading by example. Their son said, “She likes me.” - he knows he has a secure relationship with his teacher. Sa can be firm when she needs to be and challenges him when his behaviour needs attention. The first time she was introduced to their son, she said to him, “Ive been waiting for you.” This beautiful, inclusive statement was followed by a hug for the parents too.  A few months later in the school year, Sa shared with his parents, “Your son makes me feel like a Queen. Queen Beyoncé.”  Occasionally, Michael and Sa wave to each other when he rides past the school and she is on road crossing duty. Michael describes her as a friendly,...

 I was recently farewelled from my part time teaching position at Te Uku Primary School, near Raglan. The farewell assembly was memorable. My speech was simple. Why have I been at the school for four and a half years? To help and to care and above all to be kind.  I have taught at every class level and loved it and I view it as being a privileged teaching position.  I then told the students sitting in front of me that I see in them, hope, joy and potential. I added, they were all precious and special.  I enjoy teaching writing. My goal was for each student to proudly say, I’m a writer.  And so to my beautiful book. I was presented with a unique, beautifully appointed book, ‘A Collection of Stories from our Lives’, written by Te Uku School Tamariki/children. Outlined below are a number of excerpts from their stories.  ‘I will miss you Matua (male teacher) Steve. I like it when you read the stories in your book (The Trouble with Twins A memoir). ‘I liked the ...

Campbell continued his conversation with me.  “Building our house was a wonderful experience and the builder asked me to help with his next two building projects.” Campbell then said, “People are the most important thing. I’m driven, but there is an underlying love for people. During these projects I realised that the people I worked for were just as important as the project itself. So, as a novice I went the extra mile, checking in, communicating and just being friendly.” “Lorraine says I’m still the same person as I was when I was in church, but now my tool belt has different attachments. I value relationships and the rewards that relationships bring. Both client couples gave me work post the house project and I added a new business, Repurposed Raglan. And you know what, I didn’t have to wait for another life to be a builder. Heather, Seb, Glenn and Andrea went from being clients to great, trusted friends. All I have done is to treat them well. Now I have plenty of work.”  C...

A tradie is a colloquial term used in New Zealand and Australia for a skilled (male or female) builder, mechanic, plumber, plasterer, bricklayer, landscaper, roofer or electrician.  Having a coffee with a tradie builder Campbell Forlong at The Hut Cafe recently was an insightful experience. The back story to his current career is that he came from a family of farmers and business people. Initially, he felt ‘intimidated’ by his wife Lorraine’s family of tradies  (mechanics, glaziers and builders).  Little by little he observed tradies working with their hands to restore, renovate and create something that was needed. Perhaps a seed of opportunity began to grow for him. Campbell then got some part time work as a labourer for a day a week. In his own words, he says,  “I discovered I could learn to build. Out of this came a dream, a desire to one day build my own house. At this time I was doing church and community work. Sometime during my 50th year I thought if I had my...

My brother in law Vern’s birthday is Jun 1, King’s Birthday Weekend. In New Zealand it coincides with a public holiday on the Monday.  Vern is the I.T. Manager at Mahurangi College, Warkworth. He and his wife (my youngest sister Cathy) were staying at the Pacific Rendevous Motel in Tutukaka. Two of his colleagues, Maree and Grainne and their combined 6 daughters were also staying at the motel for this long weekend.  Cathy was asked, “I hope you don’t mind, the girls have been practising a little something for Vern.” A knock on their unit door followed a short time later and in came the girls and their mums with big smiles. Each of the girls (except the baby) was carrying a card with a single letter and one explanation mark card. Carefully shuffling in order, the held cards spelt, V E R N ! In unison they chanted, “give us an V, give us an E, give us an R…”  Younger Sister Jenny and husband Stuart were part of the audience as well and videoed the special event. The Ha...

On the same morning of our Ngunguru cafe experience (last week’s story) and on our return to the Pacific Rendevous Motel at Tutukaka, I asked Chris to drop me off at the reception office. “What are you doing Steve?” I knew exactly what I was going to do…  When we arrived the previous day, Phil the new manager/receptionist, gave my siblings and extended family group a generous discount for the two units we usually occupy. It was the King’s Birthday public holiday and prices normally go up, but his ‘Winter Special’ trumped that! How wonderfully generous.  In response to his generosity and kindness and to be kind myself, I wanted to take the initiative, so I walked into the office and welcomed him to his new job, before he welcomed me. I thanked him for the cleanliness of our unit and he in turn acknowledged his wife Annie and her hard work and pride in cleaning and setting the units up.  A conversation followed and common points of connection were quickly discovered. ie gro...

This story is set in and around Tutukaka, a coastal village north east of Whangārei. It is home to a harbour, hotel, shops, cafes, restaurants, motels, marina and easy access to the Poor Knights Marine Reserve.  On King’s Birthday weekend this year (Saturday 30 May - Monday 1 June) my twin brother Chris and I were driving and walking around Tutukaka around 6.30am on the Saturday, hunting for a coffee and maybe, some honey toast or porridge but no cafes were open yet. I then remembered that we visited Ngunguru, a few kilometres away, on the same day a year ago. The Salt Air Cafe was open then, so hopefully it would be open early today. It was! (It opens at 6.00am) We recognised the friendly owner/manager/barista. Our flat white coffees and honey toast was made and delivered to our table and a conversation started. “How’s business?” There was a slight pause before he answered. “It’s going ok…” What does ok mean in the hospitality industry in New Zealand at the moment? There are so ma...

Most of the world knows that the FIFA World Cup competition has begun. As I’m finishing this week’s blog story, New Zealand has just played Iran, ranked 20. A draw! 2-2. A great result considering our ranking of 85. Go the kiwis! What country will win the World Cup? France? Spain? Argentina? England? The lowest ranked team New Zealand?  When I was teaching at Hamilton Boys’ High School, I worked with Naaz, Lynnette and a few other teachers with ex refugee students. After a number of years, a football team was formed. Our team needed a uniform, so one was designed and made.  We were scheduled to play against a combination of our school 1st 11 and 2nd 11 teams for the inaugural, and now *annual sports fixture. We needed a trophy, so one was organised. On game day, our team skipped more classes than was allowed, to get ready. Who could blame them? The teams lined up on the school field. Talk about pride in uniform, as they were representing themselves, their families and other ex...

  As we get older, (I’m 70 next month and funnily enough so is my identical twin brother Chris, who was born 5 minutes before me) I reckon you get more sentimental and quite often more emotional. For example, I love to see older people holding hands in public and yet being young at heart and still in love - hope and commitment expressed. I smile when I see young kids at Te Uku Primary School, near Raglan, walking around the playground, holding hands and being so happy together - a simple joy.  Recently Val and I observed our granddaughter Nova slip her hand into her mums hand and walk with Rebeccah to her car after a football game at Western Springs, Auckland. I think it was on the same weekend that her son Wynn while watching TV with me, quietly placed his hand on top of mine.  Years ago, my mum Mary came to visit me at Silverdale Normal School in Hamilton. Mum and I held hands in the staff room during the morning interval break. I didn’t care what the staff thought. She...

The theme song to the Australian TV show Neighbours has pertinent lyrics to this blog story. In part the lyrics say, ‘Should be there for one another, that’s when neighbours become good friends’.  My younger brother Mike and his wife Sheryl were neighbours and good friends with Pete. He had been a kiwi dentist in London for over 40 years and retired next door to them. A great sense of humour was an important part of their relationship.  The New Zealand flag referendums in 2015/2016 were held to determine our nation’s flag. Voters were able to choose their favourite design. Pete was a staunch believer in retaining the existing flag and keeping the Union Jack in the corner. Mike and Sheryl loved to tease Pete about his flag views, so in a light hearted, funny way, they hatched and executed a cunning plan… Mike purchased an alternative silver fern flag and attached it to a drone. As it zipped past Pete, who was sitting at his outdoor table, he yelled to his son, “Get the gun! Put...

The WSL (World Surf League) Corona Cero New Zealand Pro 2026 surfing championships for men and women, held at Manu Bay, Raglan finished a few days ago. Pre competition, my daughter Ruth and I had a lovely conversation with Carissa Moore, a Hawaiian competitor. She came across as an authentic and humble person and the eventual winner of the women’s championship. On the first day of the scheduled 10 day event, I was watching the heats with Ruth, her husband Jake, their kids and some of their friends from Mount Maunganui - they sure know how to laugh and enjoy themselves! The happy crowd of thousands around us helped to set the scene for the rest of the day as the ‘Raglan vibe’ was appreciated in town and beach alike. Reflecting on the whole event with Val, we noted that groms (young surfers) had plenty of opportunities to talk with and get autographs from many world famous surfers. Annie, a checkout operator from the local 4 Square Supermarket remarked to me that Gabriel Medina represent...

“Can of coke” the customer said to the owner of the Patangata Tavern (Situated many kilometres up the Tukituki River in the Hawke’s Bay region of New Zealand). The owner replied, “sure. $10.00.” The customer looked somewhat shocked at the price. “That’s a rip off price,” to which the owner replied, $10.00 or $3.50 if you use your manners.” The customer changed his attitude and then asked, “A can of coke please. Thanks.” “$3.50. Thank you.” The owner told us this amusing, yet serious story to Val and me when we visited the tavern for lunch. He was ‘old school’ but he had a fair point.  Speaking of school… in the classes I teach, ranging in ages from 5 to 13, I insist on and role model good manners. For example, if I give a student something, they have to say “thank you” and I have to say, “you’re welcome.” I know from experience that good manners from all of us, helps to build a positive class culture, mutual respect and cooperation. The ‘greater good’ should also encourage us to us...

The whole school students and teachers photo at Auckland Grammar School in the early 1940’s was about to be taken. Unbeknown to the teachers, Peter Horne (my dad) had arranged with a few mates to do a ‘special photo’.  In those days, to get the school in the photo, the camera was moved slowly from right to left and the shutter was open for a short time. Everyone had to sit perfectly still.  Dad, sitting in the stands could see where the camera was slowly pointing to. Judging the right time, he left his place (after the camera had finished that section) and rushed to his new space before the camera got there. By doing this one more time he appeared 3 times in the school photo. Dad became a triplet. Hilarious!  My wife Val adds smiles to group photos too. In our travels and around Raglan she often sees families and friends getting ready for their group photos. The camera person always misses out. Not if Val can help it. She readily offers to take the photo and no-one over t...

Last Sunday, I met with Suzanne, Kevin and June (their dog) at The Hut Cafe, Rangitahi, Raglan. The weather was glorious with the local community of adults, children and a few dogs enjoying each other’s company.  Sitting together I asked Suzanne about why she took their dog (a bearded Collie/working farm dog) into Waikeria Prison. She replied, “I believe in the power of kindness.” Suzanne had previously worked with her dogs in Hospices in Auckland and the Auckland Cancer Society. When they moved to Raglan, she volunteered at The Community House, Raglan Rest Home and Hospital and at Waikato University, Hamilton. At all these sites her dog and other dogs brought healing, empathy, compassion and a calming presence.  Currently, with her prison work June has to follow the rule of not wearing gang coloured scarves. Suzanne posed the question, “How can these men experience change if they never see a different perspective on things?”  In a grassed area they throw a ball to each o...

Last week I enjoyed an insightful conversation with Mike, a chocolate maker from Raglan.  Have you heard of Bean to Bar chocolate? This is something that he is really into. The concept and practice is about bringing the beans, the growers and the chocolate maker into a loop. The beans are ethically sourced from growers and their communities in Vanuatu, Papua New Guinea and Samoa. Mike visits the growers and they actively work on a high trust relationship model. He knows and values the local stories of their beans and Mike believes that by putting people first, the commercial side of his business will look after itself.  He has seen the best and the worst of the food industry as a chef and food technologist and he described escaping the corporate food world and finding satisfaction and hope in his present job. Mike explained further that his chocolate only uses natural pure ingredients, so it’s good food and not masquerading as good.  Mike and his partner Simone work toget...

Last week’s blog story was about drawing with a purpose. Today’s blog story is about painting with a purpose.  For about 5 years, once a week, my mum Mary took painting classes for maximum security prisoners at Auckland Prison (Paremoremo). She was accompanied by my dad Peter and older sister Linda. Talking with Linda last week, some fascinating insights were shared about my mum’s voluntary work with men that were ‘inside’ for a long time.  There was always a good turnout of between 12 -20 participants. Linda described mum as always being herself (all 5 foot 2 of her). She was quietly spoken and earned the prisoners respect because she wasn’t there to judge and knew how to teach something she loved doing herself and was good at.  Mum had the ability to draw talent out of anybody. She wouldn’t hear and accept the words, “I can’t paint.” She was there to love them and to teach them.  Mum knew that the men needed kindness as they were angry and hurt and paying a price f...

Have you ever seen those amazing 3D chalk drawings on footpaths? They look so realistic and last for such a short time.  The other day I watched a dad draw small, stylised chalk pictures (in a row) for his daughter. She was tiny (I guess around two years old) and her head and smile followed his drawing hand. I was intrigued by his ability to draw freehand perfect circles and capture the essence of a boat, car, truck, house and sun. There was nothing 3D about these pictures and yet they carried their own beauty. Their beauty was in the moments that were being created. Once finished she used the pictures like a hopscotch game. She hopped and she counted. Backwards and forwards, time and time again. Her dad also called out the objects and she repeated them out loud. So much fun. Great teaching! I then noticed her looking up and it was her turn to point and call out, “Boat!” Sure enough, about 50 metres away was a boat on a trailer. Clever girl. Clever dad. Connections were being made ...

I had a random conversation with a couple of guys a few days ago. One of them in a frustrated voice said, “I don’t watch the bleep (expletive) bleep (expletive) news any more! It’s all bad news.” I couldn’t help but agree, when it seems most of the news is about ‘wars and rumours of wars.’  I followed up our conversation with an unscientific survey of the first 15 news stories on BBC, Radio New Zealand and the New Zealand Herald (All online). The BBC had 11 bad news stories and 4 good news stories. Radio NZ had the same numbers. The NZ Herald had 8 bad and 7 good. So, it would appear that there is more bad news around us than good news. But why is this so?  A conundrum to me is there’s a lot more ‘good’ people in our world doing good things than ‘bad’ people doing bad things, and there’s a lot more kind people in our world than unkind.  The bias of negative news needs to change (Interestingly our community newspapers and school newsletters are full of positive news)....

I asked some friends of differing ages and experiences, What’s the first thing that comes to mind with this statement, ‘That’s what friends do’. Dan said, “A couple of my friends store a few beers at my place at the beginning of the week, ready for our after work conversations in the workshop.” Leanna answered the question with, “My friends remember my birthday!” (It should be said here, that for years, the only birthday I remembered was my twin brothers).  Darcie smiled and then said, “My best friend Jen and I don’t see each other much, but she recently surprised me by booking flights from the south coast of New South Wales (Australia) to see me for two days. Such a crazy girl. But that meant such a lot to me.”  Mary-Anne thought for a few seconds, “My friend dances with me on my house deck in the moonlight.”  I spoke with Michelle and Sue together, their thoughts are combined. “Sue rings me or sees me at exactly the right time. We have known each other for 26 years. We ...

No actual blog story today. Just a few connected thoughts. Being kind is about taking action. It’s seeing a need and doing something, even something that appears insignificant. Now or ‘soon as’ is the best time.  Don’t always tell someone, “If there’s anything I can do, just ask.” Most people don’t ask and the need is still there. Take the initiative and help without being asked.  For example, our Raglan neighbours all help us and we help them. Between us, lawns have been mowed, gardens watered and produce shared, mail and courier parcels collected, rubbish and recycling bins brought in and often because we all like to travel, an eye is kept on neighbouring properties as an extra security measure.  Be prepared to help a neighbour more than once. The sun keeps shining and lawns grow! We make the time to help as this collective kindness comes out of relationship and connection. We know our neighbours but are not nosey. There is no expectation of reward, social media ‘look a...